The unknown

Its been quite a while since I had posted here. It has been so because of lack of time and other pressing issues constantly presenting themselves for my attention and not because there was any lack of stimulation. 

I keep getting my inspiration from a whole lot of varied quarters, like this time it was none other than our dear old Door-Darshan! I watched this movie called "Ankahee" on DD Lok-Sabha (yes, they have movies and some very good current affairs programs when the parliament is not in action). I actually caught it from the middle, and had missed the opening scenes. Nevertheless, it got me thinking about a lot of things. 

Let me start with clarifying that this is not a post about the virtues of Amol Palekar's direction or acting. Yes this very fine actor of the Indian cinema scene is the director and main protagonist of "Ankahee" made in 1985. Although I could write one about the fine acting of all actors in this lost gem of a movie, be it Dr. Shriram Lagoo who plays the astrologer father, or Deepti Naval who plays a schizophrenic girl whom people see as possessed by ghosts, or even the actor who plays the drunkard in the movie - all very fine actors indeed.

This is not even about the excellent songs interspersed in the movie which are sung by none other than Pandit Bheem Sen Joshi. All songs are classics and must be experienced to understand that classical Indian music is indeed timeless and limitless in its appeal.

So after so much deliberation about what this blog is not about; let me clarify what compelled me to write this piece after watching that movie. The movie is about an astrologer's son who has lived all his life in the shadows of his father who is known to have never predicted incorrectly. He predicts that his son is destined to be married twice as his first wife will die within 11 months of marriage giving birth to his child. On the surface it may appear to be a commentary on the social evils of superstition which plague our society in general. Yet, it is much much more than this simplistic view.

The way in which our protagonist reacts is heart wrenching to say the least. In order to save his lady love from  certain death, he decides to marry a mentally challenged girl (played beautifully by one of my favorite actresses - Deepti Naval), and the story unfolds from there. How he is torn between his true love and this girl who is his wife now. He is overtaken with guilt for having betrayed his lover and also for cheating with the innocence of his wife. He turns an alcoholic and an insomniac. But eventually he decides to take a plunge into the unknown. The story unfolds into a sort of a happy ending from there, but not before his lady love commits suicide blaming the superstitious society that did not let her have a chance. This seems to be the message of the movie and perhaps that is why DD still airs it.

But as I was watching it, I was overtaken with another subtle point in the story. What would you do if you were sure of what is going to happen in the future. I for one has planned a lot about most of the decisions that I have taken and have hoped that everything turned out to be as I planned. But it would've not been that simple if I knew that no matter how good I plan, ultimately it is going to lead to the same result. Would I stop trying and planning? Would I resign myself to the fate? Would I not do anything to subvert such a scenario...? All this and many more such questions reared their heads. 

In one of my earliest posts I talk about taking a chance purely because it has a possibility that it might lead to a favorable result. Had I been so optimistic, if I knew all that is to happen in advance? In such a scenario, would I not cease to be a human being? Would I also just become a wooden piece of furniture lying on the rug of our society - waiting for events to unfold themselves without trying a bit. 

If I knew that all my endeavors are going to be futile, there really is no point trying, isn't it!
But I beg to differ!

And that is what sets me apart from the character in the film. To still be a human, I can't give up trying. I can't stop struggling to wriggle success from the jaws of failure. No matter how strong the evidence - I can't give up hope. The only thing I ask for is faith in my abilities (even if I have none now, I will develop them in future). And even if it's about things beyond one's control, I still can not stop trying. I can not give up hope altogether. YOU know as it's said, "It ain't over, till it's over". It may be just needing a little nudge and push to take it over the ropes.

Being Human is what counts for a Human Being, and the only way I see it possible is by trying harder in the face of failure.