Only so much...

Only so much as to see everyone around me happy... even if it means it is at the cost of my own happiness... is that too much too ask for? Why is it so difficult.. shall I stop trying altogether.. who would be to blame for later? Only me... so why bother? why does it hurt so much when you see others sad, even when it was not your intention to make them sad... why do somebody else's tears, someone else's voice overwhelmed with emotion is much more painful than your own... is there no cure to this deadly disease... why do selfishness creates so much pain...?

For someone who has grown over a staple diet of news and current affairs programs back in  the good old days of DD1, when a Pronnoy Roy was the torch bearer of one of the most important pillars of democracy called 'free press', reporters were always above board. Even today, when you have about a dozen preposterous news channels airing stories such as aliens abducting cows in Ratibad, it was never a question of integrity, but sensationalism. You could safely ignore those absurdities.

So, when there are serious charges on one of the most admired news-casters on television these days, one does seem to think twice.  Ironic as it may sound, it was a "refreshing" change from the debates on corruption among politicians. So it held my interest while I was watching this debate on CNBC tonight about the recent allegations of corruption among journalists. 

One of the panelists on that discussion (oddly it was someone from Thimpu, the capital of Bhutan!) made a very poignant observation. Corruption is a way of life in India. People never think twice here before asking and giving favours in return of getting their job done. Its like even if you don't have a confirmed reservation, you'd still get onto the train knowing that the ticket taker would be able to give you a berth for 500 Rs. We'd all gladly jump traffic signals if there wasn't anyone watching. And even if there was, we'd give the police wallah a 100 bucks and be let off. We'd drive in on coming traffic blatantly and have the audacity to blow horn at others on top of it.

Strangely, we are all aware of the corruption surrounding us, gladly take part in it... and yet shake our heads in disdain when politicians get caught scamming the country of hundreds of billions of Rupees. This guy from Bhutan then went on to give an example from the Mahabharata where a character says about teaching ethics to the populace, that you have to start young. Something akin to "you cant teach old dogs new tricks". We have got to start young to teach our citizenry the benefits of being honest.

And this reminded me of something that my grandma taught me when I was in the 3rd Standard. I found an eraser lying beneath my desk and brought it home. I still remember it was a big red eraser which had a very nice fragrance and a white flower printed on top. I proudly showed it to her (mom was still to return from office), "look dadi, what a nice eraser it is!". I was shocked when she  asked me to hand it over for closer inspection and suddenly threw it away. When I started crying, she told me, "it wasn't yours to pick up in the first place". If you pick things like pencils and erasers, you'd better forget about passing in the class.  I wasn't convinced with the argument and decided that this needs to be brought to mom's attention who'll get me justice.  (Since the other one was already thrown away, I was hoping for a new one). When mom came and I narrated the incident to her, to my disbelief instead of telling how wrong dadi was, she told me, "Knowledge never comes to thieves and pickpockets". 

And that has been the start of knowing right from wrong for me. I believe this is what that guy from Thimpu meant.. unless you teach them young, you better forget about teaching them at all.. later it just becomes about punishment.