Only so much...

Only so much as to see everyone around me happy... even if it means it is at the cost of my own happiness... is that too much too ask for? Why is it so difficult.. shall I stop trying altogether.. who would be to blame for later? Only me... so why bother? why does it hurt so much when you see others sad, even when it was not your intention to make them sad... why do somebody else's tears, someone else's voice overwhelmed with emotion is much more painful than your own... is there no cure to this deadly disease... why do selfishness creates so much pain...?

For someone who has grown over a staple diet of news and current affairs programs back in  the good old days of DD1, when a Pronnoy Roy was the torch bearer of one of the most important pillars of democracy called 'free press', reporters were always above board. Even today, when you have about a dozen preposterous news channels airing stories such as aliens abducting cows in Ratibad, it was never a question of integrity, but sensationalism. You could safely ignore those absurdities.

So, when there are serious charges on one of the most admired news-casters on television these days, one does seem to think twice.  Ironic as it may sound, it was a "refreshing" change from the debates on corruption among politicians. So it held my interest while I was watching this debate on CNBC tonight about the recent allegations of corruption among journalists. 

One of the panelists on that discussion (oddly it was someone from Thimpu, the capital of Bhutan!) made a very poignant observation. Corruption is a way of life in India. People never think twice here before asking and giving favours in return of getting their job done. Its like even if you don't have a confirmed reservation, you'd still get onto the train knowing that the ticket taker would be able to give you a berth for 500 Rs. We'd all gladly jump traffic signals if there wasn't anyone watching. And even if there was, we'd give the police wallah a 100 bucks and be let off. We'd drive in on coming traffic blatantly and have the audacity to blow horn at others on top of it.

Strangely, we are all aware of the corruption surrounding us, gladly take part in it... and yet shake our heads in disdain when politicians get caught scamming the country of hundreds of billions of Rupees. This guy from Bhutan then went on to give an example from the Mahabharata where a character says about teaching ethics to the populace, that you have to start young. Something akin to "you cant teach old dogs new tricks". We have got to start young to teach our citizenry the benefits of being honest.

And this reminded me of something that my grandma taught me when I was in the 3rd Standard. I found an eraser lying beneath my desk and brought it home. I still remember it was a big red eraser which had a very nice fragrance and a white flower printed on top. I proudly showed it to her (mom was still to return from office), "look dadi, what a nice eraser it is!". I was shocked when she  asked me to hand it over for closer inspection and suddenly threw it away. When I started crying, she told me, "it wasn't yours to pick up in the first place". If you pick things like pencils and erasers, you'd better forget about passing in the class.  I wasn't convinced with the argument and decided that this needs to be brought to mom's attention who'll get me justice.  (Since the other one was already thrown away, I was hoping for a new one). When mom came and I narrated the incident to her, to my disbelief instead of telling how wrong dadi was, she told me, "Knowledge never comes to thieves and pickpockets". 

And that has been the start of knowing right from wrong for me. I believe this is what that guy from Thimpu meant.. unless you teach them young, you better forget about teaching them at all.. later it just becomes about punishment.

All this hullaballo over something legal

Are you kidding me!!

I braved the afternoon sun, in a traffic jam of 5 KMs.

Massive deployment of police forces since the past 3 days and why.

I now know, how it would feel if I get stuck in a scenario as depicted in "The Happening" by M Night Shyamalan were to come to life actually.

And all this over a piece of land, which I'm told is the holiest of the holy, but doesn't effect me at all in the least bit of sense.

For once, I admire the Indian legalese.

An order delivered right on the verge of it being invalidated by just one day on account of one of the judges on the bench reaching his retirement. A mammoth 10 thousand page document, delivered after 60 years and so very aptly underlining indecision.

Its admirable how we all have reacted.

But the judiciary trumped us all and has shown the smiley.

The planners got it all wrong. We all should have known, how it works.

Go on you devils in black coats, I ensure you another 60 years before it reaches any conclusion. And by that time I will be senile... I hope.

Peace!

So Apt :)

As if Superman had a choice

Who is to say, if given a chance, Superman would have chosen to take a break. Well Superman may not have given it another thought when Lex Luthor teased him, "you are a workaholic, playing the good guy 24x7", but I certainly did. After all he's the infallible man. Although to fulfill that destiny he had to loose everything near and dear.

Well, I don't intend to be all loopy and philosophical, but it just seems so ironical that our greatest hero is an alien, who started on his journey by loosing his entire planet. 

Perhaps, we have already agreed that us humans can never stand the test of our own moral standards.

Coming to the point of this post... I realized today that an essential part of being human is just admitting that no matter how noble your intentions may be, you do make mistakes.. and humongous ones at that.

Superman, would never make any mistakes. He'll never have to face a dilemma  of choosing between the right thing and what should be done to correct those mistakes. Superman never has a choice.

I am no superman. I'm no one to make no mistakes. And I have no authority to tell others what to do when, and how to do it. All I know is that its never too late to realize and own up to your mistakes. You may not be able to set everything alright immediately, but you may stop from getting it worse. Peace.

And then I woke up...

I was cruising down a smooth road, cool wind blowing in my face... and suddenly puffs of dust and dark smoke hit me. That's when I woke up.

I was enjoying the peace and quiet, listening to chirping birds, breathing in wafts of fresh orchids filling up the air, a feeling of content filling me up... and suddenly there were horns honking loudly. That's when I woke up. :-)

I was logged on to the net on a wireless  broadband network with a download speed of 2Gbps and then my browser just hanged. Reality  of 27kbps dawned on me and that's when I woke up. :-)

Well, my friends I wasn't expecting a cakewalk when I returned, but I was only gone for 2 years. And its not that I'm some firang who came to India as a tourist. :-)

Even after such a short time my first few days back home were filled with pleasant surprises, countless errors and multiple situations where I had to relearn to do things the old way, like driving on the wrong side of the road again. :-)

The first thing that brought a smile was to look at the hustle and bustle of the cities, people, cars, roads, goats and cows swarming the roads and the state of general disarray everywhere you look. All that was a sweet reminder for me that India will always take pride in its "Unity in Diversity" slogan in more ways than one.  :-)

The first day I was back home I saw elephants walking in the opposite direction to traffic earning livelihood for their mahouts, people not worrying about the speed of Toyotas, Hundaies and even BMWs and crossing roads at every point. A simple ride to my aunt's home took me about 1 hour, trying to negotiate turns when there were none. Back home the loudness of everything hit me hard... one whole day I had to bear the knocking of a power-drill hitting hard on the street outside to lay new underground cables. Such activities seem to continue all the time here. Its abundantly clear that India is progressing on all fronts and the pace is frantic. :-)

But as one says.. "Home is where the heart is" and my home will always be here. Jai Hind. :-)